Top Posts

Dismantle Height Supremacy

Ladies, your dating filters are keeping you single. I have a confession. I’m not 6ft. But I’ll tell you something, on every single dating app I was on in my single days, that stat went straight to 6ft. 6’1 if I was planning on wearing those boots with the chunky heel on the first date.…

Read More Dismantle Height Supremacy

Don’t Go To The Gym

This is it. The year where you finally get in shape. You’ve got those lovely new Gym Shark sweats, you’ve found that gym around the corner, the bank card is ready to sign up to that Direct Debit. You want to shift that extra weight you’ve been carrying, and you’ve signed up to that HIIT…

Read More Don’t Go To The Gym

The Politics of Vibe

As a young man, I would occasionally (read: always) bore people at parties with political chat. I’d see glazed-over expressions as I espoused on the economic inefficacy of austerity, at least before mercifully being cut-off as someone suggested a game of beer-pong or ‘chin your pan’. By 22 I was a card-carrying member of the…

Read More The Politics of Vibe

How I Lose To the Internet

Scattered. No sense of focus. Persistent mind fog. The internet is winning. Another vacuous tweet I’ve barely given attention to before I’m onto the next. Just one more go on that pathetic block game or capital city memory game I’m playing. Forgettable videos I won’t recall watching in a week’s time. Thoughtless, idle scrolling and…

Read More How I Lose To the Internet

Shotgun 30s

There were always those guys at school who looked 45 at the age of 15. Those Rooney breed of boys who looked like they could grow a full beard before they’d even kissed a girl. The appearance of advanced years was particularly useful in getting drinks and into clubs underage, if less so for their…

Read More Shotgun 30s

A Rich Country

‘This shouldn’t be happening in the sixth-richest country in the world.’ You’ll see this cliche bandied around often. When used it’s trying to invoke a sense of duty through creating a sense of shame, that by us having this wealth as a country we should inherently share it more equitably around. It can be in…

Read More A Rich Country

Beyond Motherhood and Apple Pie

During American Psycho, Patrick Bateman delivers this speech: Patrick Bateman : We have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have…

Read More Beyond Motherhood and Apple Pie

Question Buckaroo

A few years ago I went through a phase of playing a game I called ‘Question Buckaroo’. I imagine you’ll be familiar with the Hasbro namesake – a game where you take turns loading up a spring loaded donkey, until it eventually bucks up its front legs, kicking off the accumulated items.  My version was…

Read More Question Buckaroo

White Belt Diaries

19 April 2023 It’s a pleasant sunny afternoon. I could be enjoying a coffee in the spring sunshine. I could be strolling through the park listening to a gentile podcast hosted by irrelevant former politicos or comedians quizzing someone on a fantasy three course meal. I could be bingeing *insert whichever Netflix series was in…

Read More White Belt Diaries

Gin Lane ’22

You clicked on the link. Go figure. Thanks for stopping by. Years ago, I used this blog as a repository for my work. If you’re interested in reading some of it, please go for it, although I’d probably warn against doing so. I’ve left a few of the less tedious posts up as an archive.…

Read More Gin Lane ’22